I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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