so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize