He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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