i just sent this text using only my big toe
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's blow job season.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
