I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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