Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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