Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
