Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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