i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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