If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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