Your favorite bartender is back from prision
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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