Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
