I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
