Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
