Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
