Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
