Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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