Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
