how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
