i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
