Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he was CRYING into my vagina
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
