ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
