What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
