New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
