I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
