question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
