All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
