My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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