I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
