If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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