check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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