If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
