I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
