I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
