ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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