Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize