i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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