She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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