this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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