How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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