You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
