between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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