i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We talked him into tasing himself.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
