we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
