I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
