I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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