May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
