Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
