Four minutes until I can fart!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
