omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
