Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
