It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize