i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
