I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
