Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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