My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
