I smell stomach acid.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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