how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
