dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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