Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I've blown a few things in my day
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
